i think my mom watched the whole time
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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