Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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