I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
