he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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