She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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