is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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