I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
