your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
