ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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