I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
