I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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