I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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