Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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