omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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