Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
