I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
