I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
