Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
