i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
