adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize