There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
it was like eating out sand paper
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
