I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
