k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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