Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
