It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
