I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
