Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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