i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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