You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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