he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
