I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
