in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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