every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize