How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
