i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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