the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
