im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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