The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
