Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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