I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
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