After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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