i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Randomize
