so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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