i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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