Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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