Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Holy shit dude........stairs
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