So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
