I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
my sisters under your porch take her home
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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