"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
