I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
