no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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