hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You're like the curious george of whores
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
