I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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