if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
