just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize