Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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