I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
