I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
