She is in my trunk
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
