yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize