Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
