Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
