You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
how drunk are you?
Several
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
