Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
