youre lurking in front of me
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
