Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
