i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
