Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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