Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
