i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
