Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
