You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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