hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
