Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
