I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
