Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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