What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
